Showing posts with label help. Show all posts
Showing posts with label help. Show all posts

Sunday, 26 October 2014

Caring for someone with depression: Netdoctor Article

After a lot of research online, I've come across a great article directed at Supporters or Carers of those suffering from depression. Let me be absolutely clear - I did not write the following article and I am nothing like clever enough with blogging to have worked out how to embed the article!

The link is at the bottom for those wishing to view the article on the netdoctor website and comment there. There are also links to other related articles if you would like to read more.

I hope it is of help to you. I think the most important point for me was the reminder to look after myself first. It's really easy to fill your time with everything else in life rather than make time for yourself. I have certainly forgotten that in recent weeks and, in hindsight, I think it's beginning to show in my mood. Unfortunately I can't quite manage to jet off to Paris for the weekend, nor can I squeeze in a relaxing spa day, but I can certainly get out the house for a coffee/walk in the drizzle/jump in the bath with my headphones in!

Take care of yourselves folks.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Depression can touch all of us

Depression is a surprisingly common disorder. Something like one in every five adults will suffer from it during their lifetime. Two million new cases are diagnosed every year in the UK.

The condition affects all age groups, though women are twice as likely to experience it as men.

There is also evidence that depression has become more common in recent years largely due to the increasing levels of stress that we are all confronted with on a daily basis.

Many factors contribute to the onset of true clinical depression. But whatever the cause, it all boils down to this: at some stage and to some extent, you, personally, are probably going to need to care for someone close to you with depression, even if you are lucky enough never to suffer from it yourself.

Caring is a vital role
It is far from easy to care for a depressed person. The results and rewards in the long term are usually wonderful, but in the initial stages it is often an uphill and thankless task.

Your role as a carer requires immense patience and perseverance, but ultimately it could prove essential to a person's recovery and could even save someone's life.

However sympathetic and up-to-date the doctors and nurses may be, they simply cannot be there 24 hours a day to observe every small alteration in someone's behaviour or mood. But this is where you, as the carer, can help.

Barriers
Depression is different from most medical conditions in that sufferers with depression rarely seek or welcome support.

Typical of the disorder is a conviction of guilt and worthlessness, poor self-esteem and apathy.

Together with emotional numbness, self-imposed isolation and pervasive gloominess, the depressed person's state of mind is very hard to get through to; you may find it hard to get your offers of help and support accepted.

Moreover, depression, regrettably, remains stigmatised by society.

It seems perfectly acceptable to be off work and incapacitated by a broken leg, but not with depression.

But if the carer has a good understanding of the symptoms of classical depression and knows how best to deal with them when nobody else wants to know, many of the barriers which depression erects in the face of assistance can be overcome.

Recognising depression
Depression comes in different forms.

Sometimes it is a reaction to some sudden and unexpected life event (acute depression), but it can also come on gradually for no obvious reason.

In both types certain symptoms are evident. Low, despairing moods and tearfulness are common.

There is a general loss of interest in work, hobbies and pastimes. Emotions are blunted and life doesn't seem worth living. Their concentration may be poor and their memory unreliable. Anxiety and restlessness are common.

In severe cases there may be delusions, hallucinations and suicidal thoughts or impulses.

Physically, waking up in the night or early in the morning is typical.

There may be a loss of appetite and weight, constant tiredness, hypochondriasis and reduced libido.

In bipolar depression, otherwise known as manic depression, the depressive symptoms alternate with mania – where high moods, excitement and elation give sufferers excess energy, rapid speech, less need for sleep and wild, racing thoughts and impulses.

In postnatal depression, which affects up to 15 per cent of women up to two years after childbirth, strong feelings of isolation, inadequacy, exhaustion and alienation from their baby are common.

What not to say
Well-meant comments like 'you can't be sad, you've everything to live for' and crass ones such as 'pull yourself together' and 'snap out of it' are totally unhelpful.

A depressed person does not have the ability to 'snap out of it'.
Nobody chooses to be depressed or gains anything from the symptoms, and if they only could just 'snap out of it' they certainly would. Sensitivity and patience are paramount.

Offering support
Start by talking to the depressed person about their problems and feelings. Approach it sympathetically and listen carefully even if what they tell you is patently not true or painfully misguided.

Try not to offer bland, groundless reassurance or spur-of-the-moment advice, and encourage them to talk to their GP. Accept the way they see the world at present – you won't be able to change their mood through logical argument, much as you may want to.

Reassure them however that medical treatment is very effective and that there really is light at the end of the tunnel. Once you've talked, keep in regular touch, be available and see if there is any practical help you can provide right now.

Accompany them to the doctor's appointment if it helps, but don't be tempted to take over completely – a person with depression is going to need to make decisions for themselves again as soon as possible.

Monitoring progress
Remember that it is going to take just as long for the patient to get well again as it may have taken to become gradually depressed. So keep an eye on them frequently and assess progress.
If you're worried they've taken a turn for the worse, call their doctor.

You may also be in a good position to make further appointments, collect and deliver prescriptions, dish out the correct number of tablets, observe any side-effects and reinforce any on-going psychotherapy.

While medical treatment is best left to the doctors, there is no reason why a carer cannot introduce the patient to complementary therapies if appropriate.

St John's wort is one of the best researched herbal remedies, with some reasonable evidence supporting its use in depression. Yet current NICE guidelines do not recommend its use because of these on-going concerns about appropriate doses, duration of effect, variation in preparations and potential for serious drug interactions.

Pet therapy, reflexology and aromatherapy for example are all great ways to relax, as well as being gentle and safe.

Threats of self-harm or suicide
Some 3000 suicides a year occur in England and Wales as a result of depression, so never take suicidal gestures or thoughts lightly.

Many attempts at deliberate self-harm are simply a cry for help but they often signify serious depression and need to be referred for urgent professional help.

If the person concerned suggests that they have ever contemplated 'ending it', or spoken of how they might do it, you cannot take on this responsibility alone. You need to obtain immediate help.

Emergency and crisis
Life can be full of unexpected hard knocks for everyone; for a depressed person, it doesn't always take much to push them right over the edge.

In an emergency situation, call their GP, the Samaritans (08457 90 90 90) or take them to the nearest casualty department.

Sometimes a psychiatric nurse or doctor can even visit them at home, especially if they are already receiving treatment from a hospital team.

Some hospitals have Crisis Management Centres on constant standby just for these sorts of situations.

Your needs
Caring for someone with depression can be rewarding but it is also arduous and taxing. A devoted carer can easily get sucked into the situation, to the extent that their own health and welfare begins to suffer.

So, step back and delegate some of the support to others. If you don't look after yourself you'll soon become unable to look after your 'patient', so getting exhausted helps nobody.

Ensure adequate sleep, rest and exercise and refer to professionals whenever and wherever appropriate.

Other sources of help
There are many sources of help and support for depressed people and those who care for them, with some of the most notable being the Samaritans, MIND and Cruse Bereavement Care.

Carers, in combination with these charities, doctors and nurses, can combine to make an essential contribution to helping a depressed person overcome their disorder and feel well again."

Read the whole article here

Follow on Facebook and Twitter @PondersNeverEnd or use #CrazyStupidDepression

Thursday, 16 October 2014

DEPRESSION - The Most Important Piece of Advice

This could be the most important piece of advice I have learned so far - so listen up.


Tell people that you are trying to support a sufferer of depression.



Tell your family, friends, work colleagues.



Stop hiding it and hiding from it.



No-one can help if they don't know you might need their help.



And by the time you need their help, you won't feel like telling them the whole story before asking for some help.



Who knows, you might even find a fellow Supporter hiding their story.



I wish I'd said something sooner - it feels like a weight has been lifted in some ways.



Don't struggle on your own - don't even try. No-one can beat depression on their own - whether a Sufferer, a Supporter or even a medical professional.



And don't forget - there's always hope.


Follow on Facebook and Twitter @PondersNeverEnd or use #CrazyStupidDepression

Wednesday, 8 October 2014

An Apology.



I have lived with my Sufferer for six years now and it is only today - just now, in fact - having watched this video, that I have seen his black dog.


I feel so guilty that all I have noticed are the effects his black dog has had on our life, rather than the burden it is to him in everything he does, or tries to do. In everything he thinks. Feels. Is.



I will do everything in my power to help him tame that black dog. It might still crap on the carpet occasionally. But not on us.
Not on my Sufferer.

Not anymore.



Thank you to Sarah Tanner for sending me this invaluable lesson.
Follow on Facebook and Twitter @PondersNeverEnd or use #CrazyStupidDepression

Sunday, 5 October 2014

Cartoon time



I wish I were smart enough to have come up with this cartoon strip. I think its brilliance lies in its simplicity.

The original can be found here and is worth a look.

Does this reflect your experience with depression?












Follow on Facebook and Twitter @PondersNeverEnd or use #CrazyStupidDepression

Thursday, 2 October 2014

Sufferers vs. Supporters

Oh right. It's another source of information to help those of us living with a sufferer of depression to walk on egg shells, carry on regardless, pick up the slack whilst grinning & bearing it.

Nope. It isn't.

I live with someone who suffers from depression, as you might have assumed. It can be miserable. And lonely. When I sought help/support/advice on the internet, all I found were sites full of advice on how to help the Sufferer - nothing seemed to offer us, the Supporters, any support. Why not?

I have no idea why not. As almost everything I read confirms, it is very hard for a Sufferer to take steps towards recovery without some help from someone they are close to. In fact, our family doctor pointed out that it is often very difficult for a Sufferer to realise that their behaviour is indicative of depression and not just 'the way they are' unless they have someone they are close to to point it out to them. Furthermore, it is usually the Supporter who can detail these symptoms/examples of depressive behaviour far more succinctly which makes diagnosis and treatment at least a little easier to initiate.

There are countless sources of information and support for Sufferers, many of which we will be taking a look at over the next 30 posts but I am keen to hear of any resources aimed at providing much-needed support to Supporters. And, to clarify, I do not mean sources of info that tell us how we can help our loved ones. 

What I need is to work out how I am supposed to carry on with the usual demands of life and take extra care of myself and/or my partner when required. That shouldn't be seen as a 'woe is me' looking for pity - quite the contrary. Do you have any practical tips/advice? Do you have a Back-up Plan for when your Sufferer hits a low point? Is every day a low point? Do you have a support network of friends/family you can call on? Do you actually call on them?

I hope you'll join me and I welcome your comments. All I ask is that, if you are the Sufferer rather than the Supporter, you bear in mind that this has been designated a safe space for Supporters to seek solace and if that should include having a good old whinge about how tough it is living with and loving their Sufferers, then so be it.

Here's to the journey folks!

Follow on Facebook and Twitter @PondersNeverEnd or use #CrazyStupidDepression

Wednesday, 1 October 2014

Living with a sufferer of depression

My partner suffers from depression.

Living with and loving someone who suffers from depression is incredibly challenging and in so many different ways.


One of the hardest things is having very little knowledge or understanding of Depression - its causes/symptoms/cures (!) and I really should be better informed.


My hope is that at the end of these 31 Days of Writing, I will have become far more informed, shared that knowledge with anyone reading out there and perhaps created a place where others in my situation can share advice, support and sometimes an ear that's willing to hear us rant!


If you're along for the ride, it'll no doubt be a bumpy one...but you're probably used to that already!


Posts in this Series

2. Sufferers vs Supporters
3. www.mind.org.uk & What is Depression?
4. The Chicken or the Egg?
5. Cartoon Time
6. The Rough with the Smooth
7. Keeping the Plates Spinning
8. An Apology.
9. GOAL!
10. Change by Portia Nelson
11. Facebook Friends and Party People
12. Dog-sitting
13. Dear Diary...
14. What Depression Is Not.
15. Houston...we have a problem
16. DEPRESSION - The Most Important Piece Of Advice
17. Before you diagnose yourself with depression...
18. Separation will keep you together
19. Nature vs. Depression
20. Mirror, Mirror...
21. GUEST POST: "I can't be bothered", by My Sufferer
22. The Rain
23. 10 Things that might just help with Depression
24. Dog-fighting 
25. Life is a Rollercoaster 
26. Caring for someone with depression : netdoctor article
27. Worthlessness
28. Vitality 
29. Epiphany and Inertia
30. Where to next?
31. My Way 


Follow on Facebook and Twitter @PondersNeverEnd or use #CrazyStupidDepression