Dog-fighting

Arguments happen. No matter whether you live with a Sufferer of depression or not. They are inevitable and, in fact, often a sign of a healthy relationship apparently.

However, I find myself running round in circles sometimes. Arguments that I know aren't going anywhere but won't come to an end. They follow a pattern. I can sense the descent into a downwards spiral but I can't do anything to change it.

I try logic, reasoning, shouting! Nothing works. I tell my Sufferer what's happening. He takes offence and the argument takes a turn in another direction. It's self-perpetuating.

And the worst of it is knowing that it will swallow up all available time and energy - like a black hole - and it will just spit me out at the end. Spent. As if I had nothing better to do.

Today, I worked out why this keeps happening. I'm not arguing with my partner. I'm arguing with a black dog that lives with us. No matter what I say, he can't hear me. The black dog has taken over. He is powerless to push the black dog away. He can't hear me. And, when backed into a corner, a dog's only response is to attack. And so it does.

We have talked about this and can't find a solution to avoid it happening again and again. All we can come up with is my Sufferer needs to try to find a way through the dog. Not easy when the black dog's presence is all-encompassing. Alternatively, he may, perhaps, try to put his trust in me when I tell him I can see what's happening.

If it were the other way round, I really don't know if I could do that.

I'm sure we're not alone in this predicament. I do wonder if anyone has found a way to overcome this facet of depression though.

Feel free to share your advice.

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