The Rough with the Smooth

I've said it before but I'll say it again just to be clear. Living with a Sufferer of depression is challenging but it's not all hellish misery and frustration. Not every minute of every day is an uphill struggle through treacle. Today was one of those good days. As such, this will be a rather more personal post than most.

Life is busy at the moment in our house. We only moved recently so there is still a certain amount of organising that needs doing - none of which is getting done at the moment! We have three children - one at senior school who is just learning to balance the demands of homework and social life, a toddler with two settings - sleep and run, and a six-month old who has just started weaning.

On top of all this background 'busy'ness, my partner also runs a business from home and with an event to finalise and run in only 48 hours there has been a great long list of things to be done. If you know depression, you'll know that getting things done can be impossible for many reasons. I've been draughted in to help wherever necessary - just a few weeks ago, this meant that I was expected to do everything and I was at the end of my tether. Utterly overwhelmed with the demands of day-to-day life, the move, the homework and now I was going to have to roll up my sleeves and get stuck in to an event I knew little of in an industry I knew nothing of.

But today was different. In fact, 'things' have been improving every day. Only in teeny steps but they are all heading in the right direction. Today we actually seemed to be on an even keel. And that is no mean feat! Yes, the kitchen is a tip. The cupboards are bare because a) we haven't had time to go shopping, but b) we also haven't had time to un/load the dishwasher! Everything kitchen-related (and a fair few random items!) have begun to settle in on the worktop. Oh, and some of the dirty washing has made it as far as a basket in front of the washing machine but there it remains, unwashed.

What was different today though was the action my partner exuded. I don't think I heard "I just can't" once today - well, I may have uttered it when it came to 'magicking' dinner from The Kitchen of Doom. We wrote a list on the whiteboard in our office - a joint effort rather than me adopting the role of military dictator, we identified who would do what and in what order, and we got shit done! Woohoo! There's still a pile of stuff to do and things seem to be falling out of place as quickly as we slot them in but it felt today as though we (that's WE, not I) could handle it...together.

Having finally made it to the dinner table, we sat and smiled through our baby's first proper meal. He is the World's happiest baby almost all the time anyway but tonight, chomping on a crust of toast, some baby sweetcorn and finally a (very boring) baby biscuit, he shone. To a joint chorus of "he's learning how to eat so nicely from you because you're his big brother", and more chuckling than I've heard in a long while, the littlest one shared his smiley, slobbery adventure with us all. What could easily have been a stressful event, relying on my planning and execution while my partner dipped in and out or cruised through on auto-pilot, has actually given us all a lovely shared memory of baby's first dinner and a satisfying end to that very rare thing - a productive day.

Just when I thought the day had finished on a good note, my best friend sent me a message and a video link. She said it reminded her of the two of us and our inability to avoid the giggles when we were working together. In fact, the harder we tried to stop, the worse we got. Every time. And there have been very many over the 15 or so years we've known and loved each other. The video - which is a 'must watch' - made me laugh. Again. And it reminded me just how good it feels to laugh.

We should all have laughter in our lives. When we find something that tickles us, we should remember just how lucky we are - not everyone has the opportunity and some of those who do just can't enjoy these little things when they come along.

Enjoy!

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